Pray For Others Faults And Accept That Only God Can Change Them

Hello, and welcome to Social Media Ministries. My name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you so much for being here. Today we have a great message for you. If you are new here, take advantage of the description below. A lot of resources and links for you. If you are a returning visitor, thank you so much for your continued viewership.

Let’s get started. Oftentimes in life, there are situations that may arise, where you feel like you are doing pretty well and someone else can see wrongdoing. This happens oftentimes with siblings.

If you have children who are close in age, one person always tends to point out the other person’s wrongdoing. Even in your adult life, whether it is a co-worker or maybe even in marriage, your spouse often times it is very easy to see all of their faults.

There is a very common joke that said, “I thought I was perfect until I got married.” Then the spouse continues to point out all of the things that you do wrong and that is how you have so much wrong with you.

The point of this whole part is, we are leading into something that you really need to be doing. Instead of pointing out those faults or instead of pointing out wrongdoing, pray for their faults. Pray for them rather than coming against them or condemning them or bringing it up.

Now of course, if there is something that is going on, you definitely need to train them and help them and teach them with the Bible, with righteousness. That is what the Scripture is for. It is God-breathed and it is useful for teaching and correcting and rebuking in righteousness. So make sure that yes, you do want to help others grow. But ultimately, it is up to them if they want to make that change.

You need to give it to God. He is your greatest ally; use Him. How do you use Him? Pray. “God, I need this,” [or] “God, I want this, please give me this.” Pray. That is the only way. God is your father. Exactly like how if you want what is best for your children, God wants what is best for you. He will give it to you if you ask, as long as you are asking with the right intentions.

Remember, what good parent would not want to help their child? We talked about this before in a sermon called “Better Than Birds,” so check it out. It is an excellent message. Better than birds on how you are better than birds and look at the birds outside, they do not seem to need anything.

Look how they are dressed, the beautiful coats, beautiful clothing on them, the feathers and they always seem to have food, they have a home. You are better than birds. God wants all that and more for you.

Let’s go to Matthew Chapter 7. If you have your Bibles, please turn with me. Use your Bible. Do not let it sit around collecting dust. Matthew 7 Verses 9 to 11, “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?”

We are evil. We are of this world. What does that mean, we are of this world? The world is of the devil. We are children of the devil until we cross over from darkness into light and become a follower of Christ. How do you do that?

It is very simple. You simply ask Jesus to come into your life, forgive your sins, and say you want to live for Him. He died for you. Say, “Thank you for that.” You want to change your life. You want to cross over from darkness into light. You are going to become the light of the world, the salt of the earth.

Though we are evil, we know how to give good gifts to our children. We give them what they want. We give them what they need. We provide for them. We take care of them. Though we are evil, we do that. God is good. How much more do you think He is going to give us if we ask Him? He is our father. Your parent. How much more will He give if you ask?

That is all you have to do. Talk to God. If you are struggling with another person, pray for them. Pray that God will change them. You cannot change anyone, only God can change people. If there is something going on with another person, whether it is something wrong with them like a mental issue which would be a foothold by a demon.

Or some kind of demonic possession or oppression. Or some type of disorder, which could be genetic, or some type of a chemical imbalance in their body that is not necessarily a demonic possession or oppression, but something like schizophrenia or a mental sickness.

Or something like a disorder, like Down Syndrome or autism or something where it is just a chemical imbalance. Of course, schizophrenia and those types are also chemical imbalances, but the point is there is a line and some of these are obviously not demonic possession or oppression and some of them definitely can be. So if you have that gift of discernment, you could discern that. If you have the Holy Spirit within you to discern that, you could ask for that if you want it.

But remember that if there is something going on with other people, you are not going to change them. They have to be willing to change themselves and they can only do that if you pray for them. That God changes their heart and makes them willing to change.

Think of the story of Moses and Pharaoh. Moses continually went to Pharaoh and said please, change your mind, let these people go and God hardened Pharaoh’s heart so that he would not change.

Time and time again Moses went and asked, time and time again bad things happened to Pharaoh and the Egyptians, but God did not change it. Did not allow him to change yet, it was not time. The time had not yet come for Pharaoh to change because God was doing so much more than the humans could even imagine at that time.

God was showing the Israelites that they were His chosen people despite all those years of slavery. God had not forgotten them. He was enacting justice upon the Egyptians and He was showing the Israelites that He still cared for them.

Time and time again, more things would happen, then eventually, He started saying, “All right, the whole thing will be dark but the Israelites you will have light. All their crops will be destroyed.”

He was setting them apart, proving to them, and then in the end, “All right Pharaoh, you are ready to change, I will change you,” boom. Pharaoh changed his mind and let them go. Then the ultimate justice, Pharaoh changed his mind again and then went to his death.

God will fight for you. There is proof of that right there. There is also proof there that humans, Moses, could not change Pharaoh. I am sure Moses was praying over and over that Pharaoh would change his mind and let the people go. Moses could not change Pharaoh, only God could change him. That is what was evidenced there.

God hardened Pharaoh’s heart. So you cannot change anyone. Whether it is someone in your life, whether it is a co-worker you do not get along with, whether it is a relative, whoever it may be, you cannot change them. You need to ask God to change them.

Now of course, you can be a light in their life. You are the light of the world. You can be a light in their life. You can plant seeds. You can sow seeds. You may not reap those benefits though. You might not see the growth of the vine and see the fruit, but you can still plant and see. God can maybe allow them to change later. But you are not going to change them, so you have to pray for them.

Pray for their faults, whatever it may be. Even if it is something simple, like you wish they would take out the trash or you wish that they would move their shoes onto the shoe rack or hang up their coat. Yes, you can try to reinforce and help that, especially in children.

You have a lot more influence over your children because they have not yet learned. You have to teach them, so of course, you can change them. You can change their bad habits through teaching them.

As long as you do it properly and appropriately, non-abusively, you can teach them. But adults who are set in their ways, they are harder, harder to retrain. You should be praying for both the child to change and your children, and the adults to change. Praying for their faults.

James 5:16. If you have your Bible, again, please turn with me, otherwise all of these references will be written in the description below so you can check them out later on. “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Powerful and effective. There are two points. Two points to this verse. Number one is you must confess your sins to each other. This is very important. You must be clean. You must be forgiven. So if you have wronged someone or somebody, confess, get forgiveness.

Confess to God. Your sins need to be forgiven. You cannot go to God with stains on your clothing so to speak. You cannot go to God with a dirty inside, a dirty heart, sinful nature. God cannot look at us like that, you have to be clean and now, of course, Jesus died for you, so His blood has wiped you clean and when God looks at you that is what He sees.

He does not see you; He sees Jesus covering you because Jesus died for you. If God looked right at you, you would probably be dead. Because of course, we are not good. We are evil, Jesus has made us whole and so God looks at us and sees Jesus. You must confess your sins.

The other thing, pray for each other. For the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Now if you are sinning, you are not righteous. What does that mean? Does that mean your prayer will not be powerful and effective? Well, your prayer might still do something, but if you were righteous and clean and holy, your prayer could do a lot more.

Therefore, confess your sins so that you become clean. When you pray, you have got to pray for their faults. Ask God to help them. Okay, but then also ask God to help you because you are also part of the problem. If you were not in the equation would there even be a problem?

I am not saying it is your fault. What I am saying is you might be the person who is going to help them get corrected, which of course is going to cause friction.

Iron sharpens iron. That is not an easy process. Ask God to help you give you the patience, the understanding, the compassion, whatever it is to deal with that person to help them. In addition to praying for their faults, you have faults of your own too; you are not perfect, that is a fact.

You are not perfect. A lot of people say, “Nope, I am not perfect, just ask my spouse.” You are not perfect. Jesus was the only one who was perfect, who is perfect. So you have faults of your own.

Matthew 7:3-5, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take that speck out of your eye,’ when there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first, take the plank out of your own eye, then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Now of course, this is not simply talking about brothers, this is about people where He is talking about brothers in Christ and He is speaking to a group of men so that is why He said brothers. But for you guys, it is a group of people.

So you are looking at the spec maybe in my eyes, saying this guy is doing something wrong or in your fellow’s eye, your co-worker’s or something. First, take the plank out of your own eye and then you can see clearly to help someone else. God is saying that if you are going to try to pray for other people’s faults, you need to get right yourself.

That is what James says, you got to confess your sins. Get right first then go to God and ask to help that other person. Then if you are going to go talk to that other person and try to correct them, make sure that you are also working on your faults. You cannot go to them thinking you are high and mighty or filled with self-righteousness and going to correct them. No.

Jesus did not come here and talk down to everyone. He came here as a servant to help and build everyone up, not to condemn. Follow His example. Ask God to help you with not only your faults but the faults of others.

You are never going to be able to change a person, they will be made whoever God made them to be and if they are never going to change that means it is only God who can change them. Let God change them. Write it down, let God change them. You need to pray, ask God to help them, and if needed God will change them into who He wants them to be.

Let’s check out 2 Corinthians 5:17. It says, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come!” Okay, there is a very very important word right there. It is “If.”

If anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come. This other person who you are trying to change may not be in Christ, therefore they are of the world; they are of the devil. They are a child of the devil. They are not in Christ.

How can you change them? You cannot. But you can plant seeds to try to get them to make the decision. Ask God to loosen up their heart and come into the light, step out of darkness into the light so if they are in Christ they become in Christ, they die, they become a new creation. Now it is their spiritual self that dies and they get rid of the devil as their leader and they start to follow Jesus.

Now of course, they may not know they are following the devil, it is not like an outright devil worship, but they are of the world. They need to not be of the world and you cannot directly change them. You gotta be praying that God will change them. He may also change you so be ready for that.

You might be praying to help you deal with someone in your life, a co-worker, a boss, a narcissist, whatever type of person you do not want to deal with. You may be praying that God changes them.

God might change you. He might change you so that you are more able to deal with that person rather than changing them because maybe what they are is who God wanted them to be in that position of their life or as that role.

Maybe they have to be like that in order to be good at their job, we do not know. We do not know their story, that is on God and only He can change that. He might change you, so be ready. Write that down too, He might change you. Either way, in any case, you still need to bring the concerns to God. He wants you to do that. He wants to fight for you. Allow Him to fight your battles.

Exodus 14:14, let’s go there. If you have your Bible, Exodus 14:14 says, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” We have talked about this in a previous sermon, check it out. It is called “God Will Fight For You.”

It is a great message. “God Will Fight For You.” If there is something going on, God will fight for you. Why will He do that? Because He loves you. He is your father and it is very very important that He will do that, He will fight for you. He loves you.

Remember to take your concerns to God. Take your concerns to God. That is all that it is. If there is a problem in your life, you need to accept, number one, you cannot change that person, only God can change them. Number two, you need to pray for them, that God if it is in his plan, He will change them, etc. That God will work on them.

You need to pray for them, but before you pray for them, you have to get right; get forgiveness of your sins. Confess your sins. Purify yourself. Ask God for forgiveness. Work on yourself. Only God can change them.

You focus on you and then you pray for them and then you pray for you too, that you can help deal with them because guess what? God might change you, and of course, you hope God changes you. You want to change to be more like Jesus, to be more like God. So just be ready and remember to always be praying for other people’s faults as well as your own.

Let’s pray. Lord, thank You for this message. I ask that really it would impact those out there. That they would remember that it is not up to them to change other people, that is up to You. That they would be willing to trust You and allow You to fight their battles.

Lord, that they would accept the fact that they cannot change other people, but that they would just continue to pray for those people. Lord, I ask that You would keep them with an open heart and an open mind so that they themselves would be willing to change. That they would understand. That they need to grow in their faith as well.

Part of that might be changing to be more accepting or whatever that is that You need to do in their lives. Lord, allow them to be open-minded and open-hearted so that You can just work wonders through them and through their lives.

Lord, I ask that they would remember that they need to focus on themselves. That they need to make sure that they are asking for forgiveness. That they are forgiving others. That they are doing everything they are supposed to.

That the plank is not in their eye that they can see clearly to help remove the speck in the eyes of those around them. That they would pray that You would allow that speck to be removed. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Remember everything that happens is from God. Allow God to fight for you. Trust Him to take care of those issues. You work on you, and allow God to work on the others. Pray for them as well as yourself. God bless.