Avoid An Unequally Yoked Marriage – Married For Life Sermon Series Part 1 of 3

Hello, and welcome to Social Media Ministries. My name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you so much for joining us today. We are kicking off a three-part sermon series called “Married For Life.”

It’s going to be a great sermon series. It’s a very big topic, especially in today’s day and age. In today’s world, the topic of marriage, who should be married, why should they be married, is it same sex, different sex?

We got all kinds of controversial issues around marriage. However, we are going to, for the purposes of this sermon series, we’re going to steer clear of anything that could be like political. That is for you to decide. Hopefully, based on what the Bible says, because the Bible is your manual to life.

What is in the Bible is how you should vote. This should influence everything in your life — How you act, how you think, how you feel, what you do, who you vote for, who your friends are, who you marry, who and how you raise your children, who your children are around — Who you are around?

Literally everything, the Bible has an answer for, and the Bible is your roadmap to life. This is how you should live your life. If it’s not in the Bible, or if it says something opposite of the Bible, you should have nothing to do with it.

Now that that’s done, we’re going to get into the topic of the day, the sermon of today. Remember, this is a three-part sermon series called “Married For Life.” So check it out. There’ll be a playlist in a card up above here that you can go to watch, view them all as they come out.

In addition, hit that bell icon. Hit the subscribe button to stay tuned to the future sermons in this series. So today, we are talking about unequally yoked marriage. So that is kind of an old term. We don’t really use yokes anymore unless you’re talking about an egg yoke.

We are talking, though, about a different yoke, and this is going to be unequally yoked marriage. Now, traditionally, a yoke, yes, an egg, but is something — it was a device that was meant to put two animals or two mammals together so that they could accomplish more together so that they could work together side by side doing the task at hand, the task that was assigned to them.

So the yoke was like a device. It’s a piece of wood, or now it can be made of metal or anything like that, and it would hitch these animals together. So you hear like yoke oxen or yoked oxen, or you could have horses yoked together, and they would work together for the task at hand.

And the theory or the reason that you would yoke these animals together is because they could do more together than if they were apart. And so today, we are talking about an unequally yoked marriage. Because if you had, let’s say, a big animal and a little animal put together, that’s unequal.

That’s obviously not going to work well. You want two animals side by side that can work well together of similar strength or ability, and they learn to work together, and they accomplish more. We’re going to get more into that in a little bit.

But first, we have a couple of verses to start off with. Marriage — what is marriage? So let’s get into that. Before we dive more into the yoke and the purposes behind all of that, let’s start out with a basic example and definition of marriage.

Remember, I said if it’s not in the Bible, we shouldn’t be using it. So, what is marriage? We can look right to the Bible for what a definition of marriage is. Yes, you can look it up in a dictionary. You can type it into Google. You can do whatever you want.

You can get all kinds of definitions, but for the purposes of preaching from the Bible for Social Media Ministries, we are talking about marriage, and it comes from the Bible. Let’s go to a verse. Genesis 2:24. Marriage, I’m going to say it right now, should be between a man and a woman. Male and female. So Genesis 2:24.

Genesis 2:24 says, “That is why a man leaves his father and his mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” So what is this about? It says, “a man and his wife.” Now, if you have a wife, that is a gender or sex specific term.

“Wife” is for females. “Husband” is for males. And so if you have a man and his wife, that means a male and a female. We’re going to go to Matthew 19:5.

Matthew 19:5 says, 19:5, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is Jesus quoting all the way back in Genesis for this reason. Now, let’s back it up. What is the reason? Jesus says in Verse 4.

This is Matthew 19:4: “Haven’t you read that at the beginning, the Creator ‘made them male and female.’” In the beginning, the Creator made them male and female. He made people a certain way. God made you. He made me. He made me a male. That’s it.

He made you. He made you a male or a female. It’s God who created you that way. God doesn’t make mistakes. So if you’re created a certain way, it is not up to you to change that.

I’m not going to change myself and become a female. No, that doesn’t work. You could try to make it work, but that’s not the purpose, and it’s not the design that God has for you, for how He chose to make you.

So you are made male and female. God made male and female. And for this reason, the male leaves his parents and becomes united to his wife, the female. So, what is marriage? Marriage is a union between male and female.

I know that could cause a lot of debate, can cause a lot of controversy, but we’re going with what the Bible says. So if you do not believe that that is what marriage is, and that we have male and female, and that God created us that way, and that it is not our job to change that, then you do not believe the Bible.

And if that’s the case, you are not a believer of the Word. Then yes, you are going to disagree with what I’m saying. But if you believe the Bible and if you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you will agree with what the Bible says. This is what the Bible says. Male and female, He created them.

Male and female become united, get married. Let’s continue on. “Yoked”: When two animals are yoked together, it is for a task. Like when you would have an ox, and you hook up to them with the plow, and you’re going to plow your field to go plant.

Nowadays, we have machinery, and combines, and all of this stuff, planters. And we have tractors that pull it all. But then, they had an ox, or a horse, or a donkey, or a mule, or some other type of laboring animal.

They would hook the plow up to and plow their field. Now, if they wanted to get it done faster, or if they wanted to do more, they could hook two of these animals together, yoke them together, and go faster, plow more, do more, if the animals worked together.

Now, if you had two animals yoked together, and they were fighting, they weren’t going forward. If one was going this way and one was going this way, it wouldn’t work because they’re tied together. There would be resistance. They’re not going to go forward in the direction they’re supposed to go. If one wanted to go backward and one wanted to go forward, it wouldn’t work.

You see what I’m saying? When they’re yoked together, they had to be equally yoked because then they could push forward and do the task that was assigned to them. We’re going to take a look at an example, Clydesdales.

This is a very, very popular horse. Very, very strong and majestic horse. Very expensive. They are traditionally known as like the Budweiser Beer Horse. So if you don’t know what a Clydesdale is, now you do because you’ve probably seen the commercial.

The point is, these are very, very, very strong, powerful, and mighty horses. Okay, when you have one Clydesdale, and you want it to pull — this is where we get horsepower from an engine — horsepower was like how much could this horse pull? And then we have an engine.

And when they had automobiles, how do we figure out how to tell people how strong this car is? Everybody knows horsepower because we all use horses. We had carts, and buggies, and cabs, and they were pulled by horses or a dog, like a dog cart back in the 1800s.

But the point is, they knew and understood horsepower. And so they said, “How do we tell people how strong this motor is? How do we tell people how strong this engine is? Well, let’s say it has 20 horsepower because they’ll get that.”

And so, okay, back to the Clydesdale. One Clydesdale can pull about 8 to 10,000 pounds. Now, of course, depending on the Clydesdale, depending on the climate, depending on whatever, the day, all of this stuff, that can vary. But 8 to 10,000 is a pretty good number for how much a Clydesdale can pull, one horse.

If you put two of them together, equally yoked, pulling together with each other, you would say, “Okay, yeah, if they could pull 8 to 10, they could probably pull 16 to 20. That makes sense. It would double.” But no.

When you have two Clydesdales, equally yoked, pulling in tandem together, working together as they should, as they’re designed, two Clydesdales, equally yoked, can pull 24,000 pounds. More than double.

If one can pull 8 to 10, and two can pull 24, we’re talking 150 percent growth. More than double. Two and a half times more that they can do if they are working together. Why is this? Because when one pulls, it pulls, and it might have like a break or it might need to pause to re-get its footing. And one can only pull like 8 to 10.

But when they’re working together as they should, when that one needs to regain its footing, that other pulls harder and digs in. And then they’re continuing to pull that weight. Then the other one can push in, and they can kind of work together side by side with teamwork and pull a lot more.

They can also go a lot further. They can go for a lot longer. They can have more stamina because they’re working together. Similar to how birds in migration, one bird can maybe only fly so many miles, but when you’re part of a flock, what happens?

They fly in a pattern so that when one gets tired, they can rotate around, and the ones that are tired can surf on the air that the wings flapping are creating the movement for these — that behind — that can just kind of coast on the movement of air.

They do not have to work as hard, and they can rotate as they get tired and can go much, much greater distances if they’re working together in harmony, equally yoked. So if they’re not equally yoked, we’ve got a problem.

Let’s go to another verse. 2 Corinthians 6:14. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14. This is Paul. He is saying, “Don’t be yoked with unbelievers.”

So we’re talking about marriage, but this is yoked in another very, very, very good point. If you are a believer in Christ Jesus, you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. He died for you. He paid your penalty.

Then you, as a believer, should not be going out and becoming — entering into a relationship with an unbeliever. Now that includes friendship and marriage. Now you say, “Wait a minute. Shouldn’t I become friends with them to try to bring them to Christ?”

Yes, you should bring them to Christ, then become their friend. You can be an acquaintance before that happens. You shouldn’t be getting married to someone who isn’t of your same belief.

Now, if they want to become a Christian, and change, and you can be a part of that discipleship process, and then marry them, excellent, wonderful. I’m all for that, but do not be yoked together with unbelievers. Why?

Because if you are a believer, and you’re working hard for the Kingdom, and they’re not, they’re not going to understand what you’re doing. And you guys are not going to be able to do as much as you can.

You cannot be that power couple that God wants you to be. Do not be yoked with unbelievers. Strive for an equal yoke, especially in marriage. Let’s go to 1 Corinthians 7:10-11.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11. “To the married, I give this command, (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”

Now we’re going to talk a little bit more about divorce in the next sermon next week. However, this is a very, very important point that we’re bringing on because I just said that you must not be yoked together with an unbeliever.

So if you are a married believer, and your spouse is an unbeliever, and you guys are already married, and you’re learning this today, then you are not to separate. Be like, “Hey, he said I should not be yoked together with you because you’re an unbeliever, so you either need to believe, or we’re getting a divorce.”

No, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, if you are single, take this as advice. You need to find a believing spouse. If you are single and you are a believer, you need to find a believing spouse of the opposite sex, okay?

If you are married, and one of you is a believer, and one of you is not a believer, the goal would be for you to get that other person to be a believer in Jesus Christ and start doing, living, breathing the Word of God exactly like you.

That needs to be your goal, as well. Start leading by example. Now, if one of you is not a believer, the believer should not be the one to divorce. We’ll get into this more, but you must stay. And it’s not our command. It’s God. We’re going to keep going with 1 Corinthians 7:12-15. All right, here we go.

“To the rest I say this, (not I but the Lord,) if any brother” — now this is brother in Christ — “If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

And if any woman has a husband who is not a believer, and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.

“Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”

1 Corinthians 7:12-15. I want you to look those verses up. Read them again. Read them again. Read them again. Read them again. Learn those. Meditate on them. Spend some time to think about what it really means.

We’re going to dive more into it next week. I’m going to give you a quick overview right now for the sake of time. If you are married to an unbeliever, you are to stay married to that person as long as they want to stay married with you. However, if the unbeliever says, “I’m done. I want out,” you are to allow them to leave.

Yes, you should try to do counseling, or try to hear what they have to say, and figure out if you guys can peacefully reconcile whatever is going on, hopefully that means leading them to Christ, then your marriage is stronger and you’ll be married for life.

However, you cannot be unequally yoked in marriage. So if the unbeliever wants to go, and there’s nothing you can do based on the Word of God, then you are to allow them to leave.

You are not bound to the marriage in that circumstance. It cannot be you, though. It cannot be the believer who leaves because it is through the believer that the spouse and the children are sanctified.

Now, what does that mean? Is sanctification the same as salvation? No. Salvation comes first. It’s instant. It is a free gift of God, exactly like healing, prophecy, deliverance. There are gifts that God pours out on His people that we know.

This is the will of God, and He will just freely give it to those that ask. Salvation is one, okay? Then sanctification is a process of becoming more Christ-like. You become more sanctified.

So if you are a believer, and your spouse is not, and your children, maybe, are or aren’t, they are being sanctified through you. So they have a better chance of becoming a believer, of being saved with you in their life, than if you were to leave.

If you were to leave and abandon them, they would have no chance. Now, someone else might come along and preach the gospel to them or give them salvation, teach them salvation, and then they would accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior through someone else.

But if you’re there as a believer, they have a much better chance of hearing the salvation message and of becoming saved with you there than with you not there. So they are being sanctified through you.

Let’s go to 1 Corinthians 7:16 now. We’re going to keep going. 1 Corinthians 7:16, “How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?”

How do you know? Well, you can’t save them, but if you leave as the believer, if you leave, then they will never be saved through you. They can be saved through you if you stay.

So you must stay in that marriage if you are a believer because you are their only means or their best chance of hearing about Christ. So take responsibility. Pick up that mantle. Pick up. Take the charge. Teach them about God. They might say, “I don’t want to hear it.” Then lead by example.

Every morning when they wake up, you better be up ahead of them reading your Bible with your cup of coffee. And they might be like, “ugh,” and walk away because they see you reading your Bible, and they don’t want anything to do with it. But guess what?

Maybe after a week, a month, two months, five years, they’re going to be like, “Why is this guy always doing this every morning and every night? Why is he praying? Why is he so happy? Why is this? Why is that? Why is she doing this?”

They will see your behavior. They will see your good works. And they will ask. You will tell them. They will glorify your Father in Heaven, and He will be their Father too.

They will become a believer through you. Do not abandon them. Pray for them like crazy. Get other people praying for them. This is so important. They can become sanctified. They will be saved through you. I’m believing that.

However, if you are single, so to the single I say this, and I could be like Paul, not I but the Lord: if you are single, do not be yoked together with an unbeliever. Do not enter into a marriage agreement with an unbeliever. Lead them to Christ first, then disciple them, and get married.

And work together building the Kingdom, doing what God intended you to do, equally yoked, pulling more than you ever thought possible. Let’s go one more verse. 1 Corinthians 7:17.

“Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.”

So if you’re married right now, and you are a believer and your spouse is not, that is the situation that you are in. You are to stay there. So if you are a believer, whatever situation you are in, stay there. Be faithful to God. He will be faithful to you. Continue to pray for those around you, and He will lead you to lead them to Him.
Let’s pray.

Father, thank you so much for this powerful message. I ask that each and every person out there would understand what it means to be equally yoked and to be unequally yoked in marriage. That they would recognize that. That they would take this to heart, and that they would truly understand the importance of this.

Lord, that you would show them the might, and the power, and the strength that you intend to give them through marriage, through working together with their spouse, a man and his wife, a husband and wife, a male and female.

You designed them to be together. The two will become one flesh, and when the two become one, they will work hard together, building your Kingdom, working for the purpose that you designed them to do.

God, give them strength. Give them wisdom. Give them insight, and if there is an unequally yoked marriage out there, give that believer strength and soften the hearts of the unbelievers.

That they would be willing to come to you so that that marriage can abound in good works exactly as you designed it to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Thank you so much for being with us this week. Please come back next week. We will continue our series, “Married For Life.” We’ll be talking about divorce. Have a great week, and God bless.