Be Quick To Listen Slow To Speak And Slow To Become Angry

Hello and welcome to Social Media Ministries. My name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you for tuning in. Today, we have got a great message for you. So if it’s your first time, awesome. Hit that subscribe button, so you can save us, and follow us, and come back for more. If you have been coming for a while, that’s great, I hope you’re hitting those like buttons, showing your support.

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Here we go. We got a great message today. It’s about how you need to listen, and you need to see more than you speak. For example, God gave us two eyes, two ears, and one mouth. So what should we do?

Twice as much seeing, twice as much listening, compared to speaking. Now, of course, people like me, who are up here speaking, we do a lot more speaking. But that’s okay, it’s where you’re called. It’s where your gifting is; your spiritual gifts.

God gave you two eyes, two ears, one mouth; use them in that proportion. It’s a very popular sign or placard in a lot of Sunday school rooms or churches, or even schools. You need to watch and listen how many more times? Four times more than you speak.

James knew this, he says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” That is James 1:19.

So if you have your Bible, great. Time to use it. We’re going to be going through it. We will be reading Scriptures. If you do not have it, or if you are doing something where you cannot do that right now, don’t worry. Everything will be referenced in the description below.

You can come back later on and read, definitely read. It is a very important concept for you to grasp. Not the reading, but it is, but that you need to watch and listen more than you speak.

Why do you need to grasp this? Well, because your tongue is something that you need to be very mindful of. Your eyes cannot hurt others. Your ears cannot hurt others. But your tongue has the potential to destroy others. This is very serious, it is very, very serious.

You need to be very mindful of your tongue. Remember, it’s a fire set by hell. We talked about this before, on how you need to be careful of your tongue. You can check it out. If you’re on YouTube watching, you can see a card that pops up right here.

If you’re not on YouTube, you need to navigate to our YouTube channel, and you can find the video about minding your tongue or about paying attention — it is “Reigning In Your Tongue” — and you can check that out. It’s on our channel. It is very good, so do that.

James 3:6 is where we derive most of that message. We are going to read that Verse because it is a very important verse. James 3:6 says, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole [body], sets the whole course of [one’s] life on fire, [and is itself] set on fire by Hell.”

The tongue can cause all kinds of problems, a world of evil among humankind. This is big. This is really big. You have to be careful of what you say. Your words can cut deep. There is that saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt.”

That’s such a lie, words can kill. If you grow up and people are telling you you are worthless all day long, you are gonna be worthless. But if you have people encouraging you and building you up, there is no limit to what you can do.

Make sure you are around others who encourage you. Take the toxic people out of your life. It’s not worth it. Life is too short. You gotta be quick to listen. That is the first part of this. Remember three parts: quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. Seeing is also a part of that.

Let’s start out with listening. You gotta be quick to listen. If someone is telling you something you need to have the right attitude. Now we have talked about this before; another message called “Helping Others,” so you can see that on our channel. That was a message on how someone asks for something, you are supposed to help them.

Now, of course, it does not mean you got to give everywhere, but it means you need to listen to it, and then think about it and consider it. If I say, “Hey, I need you to give me $100 because we need to boost this video,” you are gonna be like, “Okay, well I am not just gonna give it to you.” But you should listen to it, and, consider it, and then say yes or no.

This was just an example, but the people on the street, the beggar on the sidewalk, the kid who wants something, your parents, or your brothers, or your siblings who are asking for things, some guy at work, or whoever; most of the time people ask for money. That’s the unfortunate part of the world. But most of the time people are asking for money, so we’re going to use money as an example.

Someone is asking you for money. Then, listen to them. Say, “Okay, I get it. Let me take the night and think about it. Let me think about it overnight. Let me sleep on it, Let me talk to my wife, Let me talk to my husband,” whatever the case may be. Listen to their request, and then say, “I got to think about it.” If they say, “No, I need it now,” then you say, “Too bad, I need to think about it.”

Now obviously not everything is something you can think about overnight, but the main point is, you always need to listen, and then you got to think about it. Why do you need to think about it? Because you need to talk to God to find out if it’s something you should do. That goes for business opportunities, everything.

Now the other thing people want to ask of you is your time. So sometimes someone might need help right away and it could be like an emergency, or you see their grocery cart is sliding down the parking lot or whatever, and you are like, “Okay, well should I help?” Then, by that time, it’s in the street, and it got hit by a car. Sometimes you gotta act.

But in general, these requests we are talking about are a little bit more than that: It’s “Hey, can you help me move next week,” or “Hey, can you do this?,” or “Hey, can you come here and help with this?,” or “Can you watch my kids, or my dog, or this, or that, or whatever.

Your time is not yours. Your time is given to you by God. So you need to say, “Okay, yep I will listen. Let me take a day and think about it.” Talk to God, and then, He will tell you what He wants you to do. That is what we mean by quick to listen. You got to hear Him out.

We had a whole sermon on that, Helping Others.” You gotta have that right attitude. Instead of thinking about how you are going to defend against whatever they are saying — “Oh sorry, I cannot,” “Nope, nope I am too busy,” “Nope, I never lend money,” “Nope, I don’t stop.” — silence your mouth, but also your mind. Because your mind is what fuels your mouth. So silence it and listen. Consider what they are telling you, and then you can speak.

Let’s go to Matthew for a little support on this. Matthew Chapter 5 Verse 42, “Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” Now, of course, this could be again both those things: time and money. People who are asking for your time, people who are asking for your money; you are to give to them.

But it does not mean just give, give, give, give all the time. You will have nothing left. You will be foolish with what you have. You will waste everything. You need to consider it with God. Listen to the request, quick to listen.

Slow to speak, and your “speak” can be, “I need more time to ponder it and then I will speak later,” so it’s even slower. That’s fine. Consider what they’re telling you, and then speak, Sometimes that considering is going to God, going to your spouse, and then letting them know at a later time.

Most people do not listen, because they are too busy thinking about what they are going to say while the other person is talking. This is ridiculous. Someone else is talking. They should be the most important thing in the world to you at that moment.

If they are not, then get away, turn it off, do something else. If there is something more important, go do that, and come back when you are ready. That is big, especially with your kids, your spouse, those that you love around, your family. They need to be important, they need to feel important.

Philippians Chapter 2 Verse 3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. [Rather,] in humility [value] others [above] yourselves.” You need to put them first. If they’re presenting a request to you, that shows that they trust you.

They see you as a person of means. They see you as a person with ability. They see you as blessed, and they’re asking to see if it’s okay if you share that blessing with them. That’s why it is so important for you to take it to God because God is the master of all. He is the one who gave you your time, your money, all of it, and you have to be a good steward of that.

So if someone asks you, and you just say, “Yep, here you go,” that’s not really being a good steward. That’s not really consulting God. Unless of course, you’ve set up a plan ahead of time.

Every month, I have $100.00 that I am going to give to whoever asks, and I will give it out in increments of $20. So you have five times the opportunity; five people. Maybe you have set up some type of a thing, and God has shown you what you need to be doing. That’s giving.

But when people ask — yes, if you have already decided that with God, you have that in your heart, you decided ahead of time in your heart what you are doing — you can do that. That’s fine. But other times, people are asking you; people are requesting things, time, money.

Even me, I say “Hey, it would be awesome if you could share this video on your social media. Don’t simply scroll down, hit the share button instantly. No. Watch the video. Think about it. Talk to God and say, “Is that something you want me to share?”

And if there’s not anything completely against it, then do it. But don’t do it instantly. But if I say, “Hey, please share this video,” don’t get mad. Don’t be like “Ah, he is typical. Everybody wants people to promote.” Do not do that. Consider the request, take it to God, think about it.

Quick to listen. That’s the point of this. Slow to speak. You got to take your time in responding. Slow to become angry. What that means is even slower. That is the last thing. So if someone is asking you for money, or someone is asking you for help, you cannot become angry right away — “You always need. Why are you always asking?” Slow to become angry. You gotta listen, you gotta hear them out.

Now, what do the eyes have to do with this? Two eyes, two ears, one mouth. Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. Well, your eyes are always pulling in data, as long, as you can see, that is. If you are blessed with sight, your eyes are always pulling in data. They’re so important to us. We want to see, but more importantly, we want to see clearly.

Now what does that look like? Several times throughout the Bible, there are times when blind people go to Jesus and they say, “Lord, I want to see,” and what does He do? He often times is spitting. He is always spitting. He is spitting with mixing up in mud and putting it on their eyes and then they are washing it off and most of the time it says something like scales fell from their eyes.

In the Old Testament, we have prophets that were going, and one was beating his donkey because his donkey would not go down the road. Then later? scales were taken from his eyes, and he could see there was a big angel standing there, and that is why the donkey was not going.

Or Saul, later, who is the apostle Paul, he was traveling and was blinded on his road to Damascus. Then later, something like scales fell from his eyes.

These scales, even if we can see, these scales are still there. We’re just looking through them. That’s something that you got to pray and ask God — remove the scales from your eyes, get them off. Then what can you see? You will see more. You will see the spiritual. You will have discernment, you will be able to see.

If someone is a believer, if they follow God, if they are blessed, you will be able to see the spiritual world. The demons around, the angels, you will be able to see their presence. You need to ask for that. Whatever it is that you want to see, get it, ask for it, get those scales off of your eyes. And we are always seeing. Remember we are always seeing, but you could see more and you could see more clearly.

Two eyes. We have two eyes with which to see; let’s use them. Two ears with which to listen; so listen to others. One mouth with which to speak; be careful what you say. That tongue is a fire. It can cut down very easily, and once you cut someone down, it’s so hard for them to grow. It takes years for a tree to grow, minutes for you to chop it down.

Just like kids; years to grow them strong in their emotions. One time you snap at them and cut them down, and that damage could be irreparable. It could take years. Your boss, your coworkers, anybody.

Slow to become angry. Because oftentimes you are cutting down people in anger. You are lashing out at them. You hurt them with the words you say. Be careful. It’s irreparable damage that can be done. Could take forever to rebuild that trust.

Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Proverbs 16:32. Solomon knew this. He knew that you had to be slow to become angry. “Better a patient [person] than a warrior, [one with self-control] than one who takes a city.”

Of course, at the time, that is what it was. But depending on your translation, better a patient person than a warrior. A person who controls their temper than one who takes a city. He is saying it is better to be reserved and controlled than to go out there on a warpath, in a rampage, and try to sack a city in anger. Do not be angry. The ESV is a different version. It says, “[He that] is slow to anger is better than the mighty.”

Be slow to anger. You do not need to be a mighty warrior. A lot of movies show that anger is often associated with pride, and pride comes before destruction. The haughty spirit before the fall, pride before destruction.

If you have not seen that movie; they made that movie about the god Thor. Obviously not a real god, but they made a movie. He is this mighty warrior, and he is about to be king. He is so proud and arrogant.

He’s out there destroying another world, and his father comes and silences him, brings him home; eventually casts him out. It’s the first one they made; the first Thor. Cast him out. he was humbled because he was proud and angry. He was humbled. Everything got taken away, and then later, of course, he had the chance to rebuild it.

But if you become quick to anger, you will cause so much more destruction than it’s worth. When someone asks you something, or someone says something that you disagree with, or someone is commenting down below — when you read their comment, be calm, be slow to anger, because you have two eyes, two ears, and one mouth.

Let that tongue be controlled. Be slow to become angry. It’s not worth it. Do not lash out at people. It’s not worth it. Remember that. Listen to others’ requests. Consider them. Take some time, then respond. Ask for those eyes to see; that your scales would be removed, and be slow to anger.

Let’s pray.

Lord, thank you for this message. I ask the people out there that they would internalize this, and that they would understand this. That they would use their eyes to see. That you would give them eyes to see. That you would give them ears to hear. He who has ears, let him hear. Let them hear.

Lord, let them listen, and hear, and consider the requests of those around them, just like you tell us to do. Give to the one who asks. Let them consider it, and then be slow to respond, so that they would take some time and run that decision by You. That all the decisions would go through You.

Lord, that when they respond, or when they hear things, when they see things, that they would be slow to anger. Help them stay calm. Reserved. Better to be patient than one who is sacking and attacking a city in rage.

Lord, help them to keep from lashing out at their loved ones, their family, their co-workers, their friends, those around them. But be slow to anger, and reserved. Allow them to use their two eyes, their two ears, and one mouth in the correct proportion.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Thanks again for being here this week. Please engage in some of the discussion below. It’s great to fellowship with other believers. Remember to be polite and respectful. You have two eyes to read those posts, those comments, and of course, in today’s world, with the keyboards, you have two hands to type it out. But it’s still your tongue speaking those words. Be careful of the words you speak. Have a great week.

God bless.