Forgive To Be Forgiven – Forgiveness Series Part 4 of 4

Hello, and welcome to Social Media Ministries. My name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you for tuning in this week. This is the sermon series finale on forgiveness. We’re talking today about forgive to be forgiven.

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Today, like I mentioned, we’re talking about forgive to be forgiven. We’ve spent a lot of time on forgiveness and what it means, what it looks like, different things that you need to do in your life, ways to apply what you have learned. Hopefully, that’s going well for you.

If not, if you’re struggling in some area, then comment below and we can pray for you. We can pray with you. Also if it’s going well, comment too, that would be great. We would love to hear those stories and praise God for that as well.

In our first week, we spoke about how God has the ability to forgive sins. You can forgive other people. God forgives their sins. In the same way when you have a sin, when something happens in your life, then you need to take that to God and ask Him to forgive you for that sin. You also need to go to the person and confess to them, saying that you’ve wronged them and ask for them to forgive you.

Then you need to go to your brothers and sisters in Christ and speak to them and get them to pray with you and for you, about whatever it is you’re struggling with. That was what we talked about in the second week, confessing your sins.

Last week, we spoke about how it’s so important for you to forgive because God forgave. He already forgave you. In the same way, when you’re wronged, you should just instantly already be like, “Alright, that’s okay. I forgive them.” Then later when they mature enough to come and ask you for your forgiveness, you say, “Yeah I forgive you. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Learn from it so you don’t go into it again and again and again, but forgive them. Why? Why is this so important? Well, it’s important, because if you don’t, if you hold those grudges in, it’s a sickness. It’s a spiritual sickness that can harm your body physically, harm you mentally, and also harm those around you.

We had the analogy of it’s like a knife and every time you remember that grudge or the way they wronged you, it’s twisting that knife. Pull the knife out. Let it go, but when you pull it out you say, “Alright, I have forgiven them. It’s okay.”

Sometimes you still hold on to it. You’re holding on to that knife and you’re like, “Yeah I’ve let it go. They’re forgiven.” Meanwhile, you’re harming all those around you because you refuse to let it go. Whether it is complaining to them about it — “Oh I’m just venting. It’s not complaining.”

We talked about how you aren’t supposed to complain at all. No arguing. No grumbling. You can check all that out in a card up here. Watch the sermon. You could be harming them. You could be harming them with your bitterness unintentionally, not even knowing. But you’re always cranky all the time or you’re bitter.

But you pulled out the knife. Your body’s healing. The spiritual wound is healing but it’s still here. Let it go. Let it go. Forgive them. Let it go and begin healing. In the same way, if you’ve sinned against someone else and you haven’t confessed that to them or confessed it to God or confessed it to your brothers and sisters in Christ, you’re holding that in. That’s another spiritual sickness.

You could be holding that in. You are carrying that burden alone. Confess it. Let it go, get it out. Get your brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for you, seek forgiveness from whoever you have wronged, get forgiveness from God for your sin. Let it go.

Those spiritual sicknesses that you are harboring, that you are holding in, could manifest themselves in your body in other physical ailments. In addition to weighing down your soul and spirit. Let it go, get it out.

As if all that is not hard enough, we are adding to it this week when we talk about how you must forgive others, not only for your own little benefit like we just talked about but in order for God to forgive you, you have to forgive others.

You say, “Wait a minute, there’s a condition? There is a catch?” Matthew 6.14-15. Dig out your Bible. Turn with me. Matthew Chapter 6 — I love that chapter — Verses 14 and 15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others of their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.”

Now, of course, you can’t forgive their sins directly. You forgive them for their sin against you, but then they also need to go to God and get forgiveness for their sins. Remember, who can forgive sins but God alone? If you could forgive sins then they wouldn’t need Jesus. They would need you. They need Jesus.

So yes, you can forgive them, but then they also need to go to God to seek forgiveness from Him for whatever they’ve done wrong. If you refuse to forgive others, if you’re holding on to that sickness, God’s not forgiving you. That’s pretty heavy considering God has already forgiven you. He sent Jesus to die.

But if you’re holding on to something, you’re holding on to evil. You’re holding on to the refusal to forgive others which is something God wants you to do. That in and of itself is a sin. Well if you’re constantly harboring sin, how could God forgive you? Because every time you get forgiveness you’re just sinning, right?

Again, forgive. Sin just happens so much that unless you truly let it go and stop that sin, you can’t be forgiven because you’re still living in sin. You need to break away from that way of life.

Remember whoever is born into Christ, the old is gone, the new has come. They’re a new creation. Their old way of life should be dead when they became a follower of Christ. You should give up those old ways.

Yes, we still struggle with sin, but we don’t live in sin. If you’re holding onto a grudge, refusing to forgive someone, you’re willingly living in sin. You’re living in your old way of life. You gotta let it go.

You gotta forgive them so you can also receive forgiveness. In that way, if you forgive other people, God will forgive you. If you fail to forgive others and hold a grudge, God will not forgive you. It’s pretty heavy.

There might be a lot of talking amongst yourselves saying, “This isn’t true. I’m done listening to him.” No, it’s true. God wants you to go to Him with a clean heart. If you’re holding a grudge or grasping tightly on some kind of pent-up anger towards someone, then you’re only hurting yourself. You’re hurting yourself.

You’re choosing to live in a sinful nature. You’re supposed to give that up when you come to Christ. Let it go. We’ve talked about the book, “The Great Divorce.” It’s an awesome analogy I’ve used many times and I feel like it’s a great time to use it.

There is a part in there where the spirit made it on the bus. He’s going and he’s trying to get into heaven, but he has got this pet lizard on his shoulder or — it doesn’t matter where – he has got a pet lizard. The angel or the other spirit or whatever you choose to call him, the ghost, is like, “Yeah you can come into heaven but you have to get rid of that.”

“Oh, I don’t want to get rid of it. It’s my friend.” “Nope, he can’t come in. You got to get rid of it.” They go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Finally, “Alright, alright, I’ll get rid of it.” He’s like, “Here, yeah, we can get rid of it.” “Okay, yep, but now let me have it.” “Ah, no. I don’t want you to have it.” “I’ll just let it go.” “No, no, no.”

Back and forth, back and forth. “Okay fine, here you can have it.” “Alright, let me kill it.” “No, don’t kill it.” Then again back and forth, back and forth. Finally, he said, “Alright you can kill it,” and he kills it. It lets out a scream, all this stuff.

What does that mean? Is this some animal cruelty thing that I’m going on? No, that was his sin that he was holding on to. He was living with a sinful nature and he said, “Alright, I’ll let it go,” and he said, “Alright, I will give it to you,” and then he said, “Fine you can kill it.”

In the same way, you could be holding on to that sinful nature. You gotta let it go. Not only do you have to let it go, you gotta give it to God and then you need to let God kill it and abolish it. It says that when we confess our sins to God and seek forgiveness, He keeps no record of those wrongs. They are blotted out.

He’s not going to hold them against us. He’s not going to use it for future ammunition. Love keeps no record of wrongs. It’s done. It’s gone. It has been erased. Yes, someday when you go up there, God’s going to call to account all the stuff you did in your life and you better have an answer for it and your answer better be, “Jesus paid for that for me,” and you better truly believe that.

But if you’re holding on to something, some refusal to forgive, you’re holding on to that sinful nature, you gotta let it go. You gotta give it to God. He has got to kill it. The old is gone, the new has come. You need to be a new creation — born again. If you’re holding on to it, you’re only hurting yourself. Believe that.

Ephesians 4.31, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” Bitterness, rage, anger, get rid of all that. You don’t need it. All that anger is not hurting the person you’re angry with. It’s hurting you. That spiritual sickness, that bitterness is probably hurting your friends and family around you because you’re just bitter every time they are with you.

You’re complaining about them. You’re complaining about something you had. You’re holding on to that grudge. You’re refusing to let it go. They’re like, “Man I don’t like hanging out with them anymore. All they do is talk about the way they lost their money or the way they got cheated on.” Let it go. Let it go. Forgive them as Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3.13. I think we’ve read this verse every week. That means you should memorize it because it’s very very important. “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

God forgave you. In order to receive that forgiveness, you gotta ask for it and you also need to let your sinful nature go. You gotta let go. You gotta forgive others. If you refuse to forgive other people, even if it’s only one person, you’re putting yourself under a curse.

It’s your own curse. You’re separating yourself from God. You’re choosing to willfully live in sin and you’re hurting yourself. You’re holding on to this black dark sickness inside of you and it’s going to eat away your soul. Let it go.

You might be saying, “Yeah, well I was abused as a child,” or “I was abused as an adult,” or “I was in an abusive relationship and that just isn’t easy to let go.” Of course, it’s not easy. Think it was easy for God to have His son die for the person who abused you? No way.

You think it was easy for Jesus to go through that crucifixion knowing that He was dying for that person or knowing that He was dying period or knowing that He was going through that for everyone? Of course, it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy for God. It wasn’t easy for Jesus. It’s not going to be easy for you, but guess what? Their love made it worth it. You need to have that.

Maybe you obviously aren’t going to love the person who wronged you, but you should. I know that might be hard to grasp, but it is a different kind of love. It’s a love, like let it go out of love, not because you love them and you want to serve them and please them, etc.

If you can’t go there, then do it out of love for God and out of love for those around you that you do love, your friends, your family. Because holding on to that is hurting yourself and you got to love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, other people might not either.

God will. You say, “Yeah your parents will. They have to. Your siblings will. They have to.” They don’t have to. I mean, if you went through abuse, maybe your parents didn’t love you. This world is complicated. There’s one thing that is simple: you gotta love God.

Do everything you do out of love for Him. Forgive others because you love Jesus, because that is what He would want you to do. Then receive forgiveness yourself. If you’re holding on to that, you’re not allowing Him to forgive you.

You are saying, “Yes, I want to accept that gift. I believe in you Jesus but I’m not willing to let go of everything.” God’s like, “Well if you don’t completely let go of everything, you can’t completely enter.’

You’re like, “I got one foot in the pool but I’m not willing to get the other foot off the dock or one foot on the boat and one foot on the dock.” Guess what, the boat starts to leave, you better make a commitment. You’re either going to stay in sin or you’re going to get on and go with God. Otherwise, you’re falling into the abyss. You’re gonna get wet.

What are you gonna do? Let it go. Why would you want to be right there on the dock all the time? Let go, get on, go with God. Let Him forgive you. He sent His son to die for you. He wants to forgive you. Jesus wants to forgive you. He says, “I died for you.”

What do we say all the time in real life, in this worldly life or in movies when someone dies or gives their life? Someone always says, “Don’t let their death be in vain. Don’t let their death be meaningless or what did they die for?”

If we give up now, Jesus died for a reason. He died for you, so you could be forgiven and if you hold on to your bitterness and anger and refuse to forgive others, then you’re kind of negating the reason Jesus died.

Don’t let that happen. He died for you. Make sure He really did. Accept it. Don’t squander that gift by refusing to forgive. Forgive others and then ask God to forgive you. Now you might say, “Yeah well, I’ve forgiven other people so many times. Is enough enough?” Enough is never enough when it comes to forgiveness.

Matthew 18 Verses 21 and 22, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Seven times?’” Thinking seven is a lot. I mean seven times someone wrongs me.

There is a saying, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. The point is if you’re fooled once, alright, fine. If you’re fooled again, you better learn. Fooled a third time, now you’re in big trouble.

So Peter says, “Hey seven times?” Well if you haven’t learned by the seventh time that this person isn’t where you should be hanging around, then that’s a problem. Now maybe you can’t get out of that situation, like a child, or if you’re in an abusive relationship, sure, or whatever the circumstance is, but the point is if it keeps happening, you gotta get away. You gotta get away. It is not healthy.

Peter says, “Up to seven times?” Jesus says, “I tell you, not seven ” — and Peter is thinking, “Alright, good, maybe only like two, and then I can be done with them.” Jesus says, “But 70 times 7.” That’s a lot of times. Jesus is meaning hey there is no limit to forgiveness. You keep forgiving all the time no matter what happens. Always forgive. Always let it go.

Luke 17.3 and 4, “So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times comes back to you and says ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” Always forgive.

Now you say, “It might be really hard to do that.” Yes, it is. We’ve talked about that, it might be really hard. One thing that might help you make it easier is if you look at them and remember, “Hey it might not be them that is sinning, it could be that little lizard on their shoulder.”

Now I’m not saying you’re going to blame it on something else, but there’s a reason that when we come to Christ, the old is gone and the new has come. We’re a new creation. It’s because then we become dead to the world. As we are living in this world, we are children of the devil. We might not have control over what we’re doing. We might not know right from wrong and so if someone is continually sinning, they may not know any better.

You say, “Yeah, they’ve been taught right from wrong and they’re choosing to do wrong.” Yes, but they could be under the control of this world or the devil. They haven’t been set free yet and so it might make it easier for you to forgive them when they can’t help it. Forgive them and then make sure they can help it and bring them to Christ. Change their life and allow them to live for God as a new creation.

Now you say, “Well this is all crazy. How do we know?” Well, Romans Chapter 7 Verses 14 to 17. It’s a pretty good series of verses. We’ll start in 14, “We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.”

That is us humans. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do. If I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good as it is. It is no longer myself who does it, it is the sin living in me.”

This is the Apostle Paul telling us this. Basically what he’s saying is, even after he came to Christ, he knows what he should be doing but sometimes he still slips up and sins. He knows that’s not what he should do, but it’s the sin that’s still in him that is doing it.

Think if someone does not have that, they don’t know the sin that is living in them is fully living in them. There’s no battle because the sin has taken over. It might make it easier for you to forgive if you grasp that.

Then even if someone does know the difference, they’re a follower of Christ, you can still forgive them because it’s the sin in them that does it. Now that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be taking responsibility for our actions. We definitely should. This is on a forgiveness side, forgive because God forgave you, and forgive so you can be forgiven.

Let’s pray. Lord Jesus, thank you so much for this message, this great sermon series about forgiveness. I ask that it would reach more people. That it would touch them and change their lives and that we could go through life in this world forgiving others and really trying hard to not do wrong.

That we would confess our sins. That we would let things go. That we would all live with this freedom about us. This weight off of us with no knives in our hands, without the sickness ruining our bodies and our souls.

Lord, that we would continue to pray for each other. That we would confess with each other. That we wouldn’t be ashamed, because guess what? We’ve all sinned. Lord, that they would forgive as you forgave out of love. That they would seek you each and every day and seek your forgiveness. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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